3 helpful observations on biblical marriage by John Piper

John Piper provides three helpful ways in which a husband relates to his wife according to Eph 5:25-27. He says:

1) The Husband is not Christ
The husband is like Christ, which means he is not Christ. The husband is finite in strength, not omnipotent like Christ. The husband is finite and fallible in wisdom, not all-wise like Christ. The husband is sinful, not perfect like christ.

2) Conform to Christ Not to the husband
The aim for the godly husband’s desire for change in his wife is conformity to Christ, not conformity to himself. Eph 5:26 “that he[Christ] might sanctify her” Eph 5:27 “that he[Christ] might present the church to himself in splendor” These words sanctify and splendor imply our desires for our wives as measured by God’s standard of holiness, not our standard or personal preferences.

3) Dying for the Wife
“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her.” Husband are to lead without lording over their wives. Husbands are not to self-exalt but to self-deny, just like Christ.

This Momentary Marriage by John Piper, pg 67